When I look back on the most pivotal decisions that shaped my life's trajectory, choosing to walk away from alcohol stands at the forefront. This choice, made on a seemingly ordinary December 1st eleven years ago after listening to an audiobook about alcohol's effects on the body, became the foundation for a profound transformation. What began as a decision about drinking evolved into a complete reimagining of how I approach healing, authenticity, and finding joy in a world that often feels overwhelming.

The Legacy of Inherited Patterns

The weight of generational patterns around alcohol runs deep in my story. Growing up in a family where addiction cast long shadows, I watched how alcohol could slowly dim even the brightest spirits. My father, whose battle with alcoholism colored my entire childhood, passed away from liver cancer when I was sixteen – a stark reminder of addiction's ultimate cost. Every family gathering seemed to involve drinking, creating a complex web of celebration and sorrow that shaped my early understanding of connection and joy.

For years, I played my own part in this familiar dance with alcohol. I was the life of the party, the one who could always be counted on to keep the energy high and the laughter flowing. Yet beneath the surface of being a "fun drunk," a deeper truth lurked – I was unconsciously perpetuating patterns that had caused so much pain in my family. The occasional moments of being "a drunk asshole" were just symptoms of a larger struggle with authenticity and presence.

In a culture where alcohol is woven into the fabric of every celebration, every moment of connection, and every coping mechanism, choosing to be alcohol free wasn't just about stopping drinking. It was about consciously stepping off the well-worn path of inherited trauma and forging a new way forward – one grounded in presence and authentic joy rather than escape.

The Foundation of Authentic Business

What I didn't realize when I made this choice was how fundamentally it would reshape my path as an entrepreneur and teacher. The journey of building a sustainable, impactful business isn't just about strategies and systems – it's about doing the deep inner work that allows us to show up fully for others. Our unresolved patterns and trauma don't just affect our personal lives; they weave themselves into every business decision we make.

In my work with yoga teachers and healing practitioners, I've witnessed how unaddressed trauma manifests in myriad ways: chronically undercharging for services, inability to set clear boundaries, pushing beyond sustainable limits, and recreating toxic relationship patterns with clients. Each of these challenges reflects a deeper need for healing and integration.

The clarity I found through walking away from alcohol became the bedrock upon which I could build not just a business, but a genuine path of service. Each step in my healing journey has expanded my capacity to hold space for others' transformation, allowing me to create experiences that honor both the light and shadow of genuine growth.

Beyond Coping to Revolutionary Presence

The most profound revelation in my alcohol free journey came a decade after I stopped drinking, when I finally understood that I was autistic. Suddenly, so many pieces of my story clicked into place. I realized that alcohol hadn't just been a social lubricant or an inherited pattern – it had been my primary tool for managing overwhelming sensory experiences and navigating a world that wasn't designed for minds like mine.

As an autistic woman, I used alcohol to dull the edges of a world that often felt too bright, too loud, too intense. It seemed like the only bridge available to connect with a neurotypical world that demanded constant masking and adaptation. What I didn't understand then was that this coping mechanism was actually disconnecting me from my greatest strengths.

In choosing to be alcohol free, I was forced to develop new ways of being with my sensitivity – not numbing it or fighting against it, but learning to honor it as a source of wisdom and insight. This journey taught me that sustainable living requires us to develop authentic tools for managing overwhelm, processing grief, and channeling our unique ways of experiencing the world into genuine service.

The Ripple Effect of Personal Healing

When I first chose to walk away from alcohol eleven years ago, I felt incredibly alone. Like many autistic women, I had spent years masking my differences through alcohol, using it as a bridge to neurotypical social connection. I didn't know anyone else who had walked away from drinking, especially not someone who did it without a "rock bottom" moment or formal recovery program.

What I couldn't have anticipated was how this choice would create waves of transformation in unexpected ways. Friends started asking genuine questions about my experience, curious about what life looked like without alcohol as a social crutch. Some confided their own struggles with using substances to manage sensory overwhelm. Others shared stories of generational trauma around addiction, wondering if there might be another way.

Today, I watch with profound gratitude as several friends begin their own journeys walking away from alcohol, each finding their unique path to presence. Their courage in questioning their relationship with alcohol, in choosing to feel everything instead of numbing out, reminds me of the power of simply living our truth openly. Every time we choose to break cycles of generational trauma, we demonstrate what's possible not just for ourselves but for our entire communities.

A Different Kind of Freedom

The daily practice of choosing presence over escape has transformed how I experience every aspect of life. Without alcohol dulling my senses, I've learned to create genuine connections that honor both my sensitivity and my strength. I've discovered that authentic joy doesn't require smoothing my edges or masking my differences – it emerges naturally when I allow myself to be fully present in my own experience.

After eleven years alcohol-free, this truth remains constant: liberation isn't found in escaping our sensitivity but in embracing it fully. The choice to stay present, to feel deeply, to remain engaged even when overwhelmed – these aren't just personal health decisions. They're revolutionary acts of self-trust that ripple out into every relationship, every interaction, every moment of authentic connection.

The Journey Forward

My life truly began when I stopped drinking. The clarity I found in walking away from alcohol opened doors I didn't even know existed, leading me to deeper understanding of my autistic nature and the gifts of my sensitivity, and my mind. This path has taught me that true freedom doesn't come from numbing our experiences but from having the courage to feel them fully.

To everyone walking this path—whether you're questioning your relationship with alcohol, building a business, or supporting others in their healing journey—know this: Your choice to stay present is revolutionary. Your decision to feel deeply is medicine. Your commitment to authentic joy over temporary escape is changing not just your life but the lives of everyone you touch.

Here's to eleven years of choosing presence over escape, authenticity over numbing, and revolutionary joy over inherited patterns. Here's to all the light that becomes possible when we choose to stay awake in our own lives and businesses.

If you're questioning your relationship with alcohol or seeking support, know that you're not alone. There are many paths to healing, and reaching out for help is an act of courage, not weakness. National resources are available 24/7 at 1-800-662-4357.